Picture me going back to the gym after four years. After I had my daughter I started working out at home, but recently I have missed the gym and the time to focus on my training. There I was Saturday, feeling like a fish out of water. Immediately this dialogue started in my head... people are looking at you...you're a professional fitness trainer, athlete and model…so why do you feel so out of place? Chalk it up to one of those days, but it got me thinking. Moms, why are we so hard on ourselves? Do you analyze why you said or did something over and over? Do you beat yourself up over mistakes? Do you give yourself a break?
I have been told all my life that I am way too hard on myself. It's true, I have a tendency to demand a lot from myself. With this comes unrealistic expectations, so my answer has been to stop and ask, "What would I say to my daughter or best friend?" Consider the difference: Feeling defeated from a less than stellar workout, I would tell my best friend….“you were just having an off day, tomorrow you'll be back to yourself…. give yourself a break!"
The voice we listen to the most is our own so we should really watch our internal dialogue, as well as what we say about ourselves to others. I love the quote, "never say anything about yourself you do not want to come true." Now, there's some motivation to stop saying you don’t look good in a bikini!
Do you notice the constant internal chatter? What is it about? If it starts to go in a negative direction, stop and think what would I say to my best friend or my child? And, start watching the words you use to describe yourself are they positive or negative? Don’t you agree you deserve the same break you give everyone else?
So so true...
ReplyDeleteThe last paragraph sums it up perfectly. Far too many times I get upset with myself for not being able to take my own advice. Especially in a situation like this! Thanks for the post Kim. It's helpful to see I'm not alone!
ReplyDeleteI know EXACTLY what you mean!! I think its easy to be overly hard on ourselves after we've competed because we know what our potential is, and we always compare ourselves to that. And as moms, we expect so much of ourselves because we want to set an amazing example for our children.
ReplyDeleteLike you say :) some days we just need to give ourselves a "pass", other days we need to be OK just knowing we gave it our best.
Thanks for the great insight!!
Great tips. I sometimes don't notice the "constant internal chatter" anymore because it's sometimes on an "automatic mode", repeating the same thing all the time! I'll try to give myself a break more often.
ReplyDeleteI was just reading my favorite yoga instructor's blog and she mentioned that when women vent to her about their marriages she tells them to make a list of the reasons they love their significant other. I think the same should be done in all aspects of life, but this rung so true for me as I'm entering my first bikini competition. I have always been so hard on myself, thinking I would never reach perfection. Just recently I've come to love my body just the way it is. So whenever someone doesn't feel that confidence, they should really sit down and make a list of all the things they love about their body and switch that inner dialogue to a more positive tone!
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